We feel like survivors crawling out of the storm cellar after an F5 went through. A lot of things have happened since we moved into this house. It sucked the joy from life, there was no laughter, there was no joy, there was no yellow. There was no hope, only grim determination.
Small and large things started happening that alerted us to this fact. Like the first Tulips of spring or the O's first loss. Our kids started smiling more and we noticed. I've gone a few days at a time without holding my breath.
I've lost my writer's voice, but to be fair and honest, it was getting pretty hoarse anyway. I needed to be able to hear so I could focus on that instead. Prayer met. I have been able to examine a lot of things that were necessary that I would not have been able to do otherwise. Writing about those things seem like a good idea at the time, but since truth has 2 or 3 sides, it'd just lead to arguments. That would have further complicated the cause.
I remember a friend had come over and Tim shot photos of him and his girls. He looked at them afterwards and said he hadn't realized how tired he was. We looked at them later and said it looked like he was being torn apart from the inside. The expression of worry, exhaustion, a little anger was all there. We have no photos of me from the last year. When I see them, I erase them, because I had the same look.
I know more people have gone through worse stuff than what we had on our plate. I'm just happy because my shoulders feel lighter, and so does my heart.
I would like to add that I make a really good Jiminy Cricket, but even Jiminy needs a kick from time to time.
If you've read this far down, thank you so much. I do really appreciate it. I'm updating what the kids have done, though you've probably seen it on facebook by now anyway :)